I wanna tell you

Am I the only who feels depressed yet happy at the same time when listening to 'Sea of Love' by Cat Power? I first heard the song in Juno, I think, a couple years ago but forgot about it and never downloaded it. But then I heard it again last weekend during the last 5 minutes of Flannel Pajamas. It was playing when the boy in the surprisingly un-sappy love story was left alone by his wife because she moved from their home in NYC to Brooklyn. She was divorcing him. Pretty amazing movie. It started out like a traditional sappy love story where two people go on a date and fall in love instantaneously and then continue to be madly in love and lust with each other for the months after last eventually ending in marriage. But once the couple got married, the 'omg why can't my life be this amazing' movie took a hard turn towards the reality that we know and try to avoid by watching those movies. Maybe it's the everlasting connection with such a dim scene as the one from Flannel Pajamas that gives me such a conflicting feeling whenever I listen to 'Sea of Love'. Nonetheless, the whole situation reminds me of a blog post I read about how Gangham Style and the idiotic dance that goes with it can be proven to be a type of mind control. Is this the same thing? I'd hate to think so but I really do think it is. I hate the idea of being controlled by anyone or anything. I think this is totally because I'm still an teenager and being told what to do whether its to do homework by this date or to pick up a piece of paper is the equivalent to being slowing having all your eyelash hairs ripped from your eye lids. Does this feeling go away with age or does it stay? I'll have to keep a look out for that in my coming years. I'll have added another year to my life in about 2 weeks. My birthday is coming up and I'm excited for it for the first time in a long time. That's all thanks to my mom and a few friends. I've recently realized that I have a lot more friends than I thought. Kind of a bittersweet feeling. It's good that I have more people who I'm in mutual interest and care with but it also sucks because I've become terrified of becoming too close to anyone. Everyone, with the exception of my mom and grandmom, who I've ever gotten really close to has left me in some way or the other. Granddad-passed away. Other family members- turned against me in various forms. Adam (one of my current closest friends)- moved across the country) Katelyn ( middle school best friend)- her family prevented us from being friends anymore. See what I mean now? Depressing situation after depressing situation. But in some morosely selfish way, it can be considered a happy situation as well because those are 6 less people who's problems I have to worry about. I just imagined something kind of funny. I was walking on a trail to the beach ( kind of like the one Shaun uses in This is England '83) and those 6 people were walking with me. Once I got close enough to see the blue waves, I noticed that these people just stopped and were starring at me blankly. I then precede to sing 'Sea of Love' putting much emphasis on the lyric that goes, "come with me, my loves, to the sea, the sea of love. I wanna tell you how much I love you." But instead of coming to me, they start to slowly back away. I sing louder, but that doesn't stop them. I reach out my hand for them to take but I only feel the breeze hit it. Eventually they all disappear out of my sight and I'm just standing there completely alone. Funny right? Haha. Probably not, it's 4:10 am right now and being awake for 18hrs straight has clouded my judgement from what's funny and what's scarily dismal. I think it's best that I just stop while I'm ahead, turn on my nighty-night playlist, and fall into a hopefully peaceful slumber. Until tomorrow or the next day or week or month. Goodnight or good mornings. Whatever one it is, I hope it's good.
Love,
Alacia( insert the heart that's normally here that I can't put now because I'm i using the mobile app)

Boo.

Ghost of present clothing.

  

2013, I promise to start updating my blog more frequently. Compared to my last entries, my personal style has blossomed very well. I say it's because of all the lovely blogspirations there are floating around the internet. Maybe, I can be one some day too?) Thanks y'all!

Love, 

Alacia♥

Inspiration

Hey y'all ( all two of you who probably will see this)! I was just cruising around the interwebs and stumbled across this revolutionary, inspiring, and uplifting video by albinwonderland. She's a blogger/vlogger, artist, and pink fanatic. Overall she's an amazing person and is one of my biggest inspirations from the interwebs. She makes vlogs about certain social issues all the time, especially women in society and beauty. But this one outdoes them all. I can not stress enough how wonderful this is. Wow..I am actually awestruck at the beauty of this video, just because of the message that it conveys. In today's society, seeing something like this is extremely uplifting and inspiring. Thank you Angelina for this. You certainly did just return the favor. 

Are you on the verge of tears rights now?

Love, 

Alacia♥

Late Night Musings

I have these rally random moments where the only thing I want to do is really talk to someone. I want to engage in deep conversations on the truth behind Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind, on how reality is just a fallacy created in our brains to satisfy out individual needs, on how much the education system is bs yet how I can't seem but want to excel in it. But then I realize that I don't have anyone to talk to. So I think to myself, "Wow, I really should try to find someone"... But I have no clue how to do that. Then I just give up. That's the problem. In these moments, I feel like I've become too content with being discontent with loneliness  I realize my 'social position', understand that I am not okay with it, and I do not execute any action so to better my condition. It's as simple as that.

Love,
Alacia♥

Two Door Cinema Club @ House of Blues Las Vegas ( October 27, 2012)

Thanks Bebe Zeva for mentioning iridescent sneakers in your suggestions. One of the opening bands LOVED my shoes! ( I know they aren't iridescent. zebra sequins are close enough okay internet?)

Friends is my newest obsession. 

 TDCC♥

Sasha and Samantha from Friends are my newest and biggest fashion inspirations right now. Flawless. And my shoes match his jacket!

Late Night Musings

Insecurity.

I believe that I've touched on this topic before, but it was from a positive point of view. But we all need to let out a little negativity sometimes.

I'm feeling pretty but unpretty. Whenever I look in the mirror the first thing I see is my biggest physical flaw, the four villages of acne scars on my face. The ones on my forehead are the worst in appearance but I can easily hide those with my bangs. It's the ones on my cheeks that get me the worst. My cheeks used to be one of my favorite parts of my face but now, it's almost safe to say that I hate them. They just get so oily and scar so easily. I wash my face with a daily scrub twice a day and use a lotion that removes the excess oil. There have not been any new breakouts on them lately ( knocks on wood) and I am really happy about that. But once again, it's the scars.... Next, my hair hasn't been doing well either. The last time I washed it ( because of my ethnicity, daily hair washing is not ideal), both I and my mom noticed that it was a lot thinner. When she does my hair, it usually is VERY voluminous, so it being as thin as it was was a real problem. But I've never been even 75% happy with my hair so I can usually get over this. It just depends on my mood for the day. The last thing, and the one that affects my self-confidence not as often and not in such a manner as the others, I can't ignore the fact that I am little heavier than I'd like to be. I'm not big. But I'm not normal. My body shape is really odd. I'm not really wide or anything. I think it's just that my tummy, thighs, and arms are a little thicker than I'd like. If I can just slim them down a tiny bit and get my tummy to be flat, then I'd be happier. And I know that's obtainable and I am working on it. I'm going to start working on it more and in a better way tomorrow ( as in more exercise). There's other small things that bother me about myself but they are ones that don't really matter so they only usually bother me for like a minute every week.

It probably seems like I think that I am the ugliest thing in the world. But I don't.I know that I am beautiful. I realize that the characteristics listed above are the unpretty qualities of me. I embrace the pretty qualities too though. Like I have a tiny little dimple to the bottom right mouth area that peaks out and surprises me when I make the most random faces. I love it so much! I also have like half-dimples  on my cheeks when I smile too that I like. I also think I have really nice nails. Not specifically speaking of the way I polish and design them, but the natural shape of them. I really like my eye area too. My eyes are kind of bulged out in a way so there's always a shadow of that under my eye socket. I guess it kind of resembles eye bags but in a cuter way ( in my opinion but that's okay because that's the only one that matters). This one's kind of odd but I think I have nice feet too. This is totally because of the nail polish color though. I always have the same color on my toes because I think it compliments them nicely. I guess it's kind of like a pale pink color mixed with a tiny bit of tan. Whatever color it is, l absolutely love it. 

I know that we're not supposed to dwell on insecurities but we can't help it sometimes. I mean, if we don't take the time to acknowledge our insecurities then how can we better ourselves? We wouldn't be able to.  We can't be afraid to fall apart. I'm not trying to look for sympathy or attention. I am simply trying to take a step in bettering my appearance and self confidence. I'll admit, I've been falling apart. But now it's time to pick up all the pieces, and figure out how to put them all back together. 

Fashi-OH WOW!

I recently made a fashiolista account to enter a contest. And to my surprise, it actually is really useful! It's currently back to school season so, on average, I spend at least two hours a day trend stalking and online browsing.** Fashiolista has helped me organize and save all my lusts! Usually I have to go through an extremely complex system: bookmarking the webpage, saving photos of each item individually to my laptop ( sometimes being forced to use the prtsc and crtl v method), and then transferring the saved photos to my phone ( for reference when shopping in the real world). Since Fashiolista has a mobile app as well, all this is a thing of the past! I just wish I would have discovered this amazing website a long time ago. So much time and agony would have been saved.

** Las Vegas definitely is not a city with a fashion scene that's anywhere near being categorized as 'good'. ( look through my blog. haha). Everyone here who is considered well dressed in my age group looks the same. Typical outfit since late 2011: high waist shorts ( diy-ed from thrift store jeans, sheer collared blouse or tank top with the 90s knot, minimal to no accessories, and loafers. Those are the trends here. For this coming school year, those are the things that I am going to avoid.  Especially loafers. I should count how many pairs of black suede loafers I see during the first week of school. My guess is that it'll be around 25. So when I said 'trend stalking', I wasn't talking directly referring to toe caps, galaxy tights, american flag, and neon colors. I guess in a way, I was anti-trend stalking...

Here's some of the items that I love the most!

I actually found a dress very similar to this!

Deena & Ozzy: perfection as usual

These are the most perfect shoes ever! I actually want to go to the homecoming dance this year  just so I have a good reason to ask my mom to buy them for me. And then after that, they'd be worn to EVERY orchestra concert and festival until.....the end of forever! (Bebe Zeva, your advertisements for Pink & Pepper have been successful!)

This is totally optional but it'd be really nice if you followed me if you have one! 

- http://www.fashiolista.com/style/alaciatiarra/

Love,

Alacia♥

( this post looks a lot more boring than I thought it would....oh well.)